Monday, July 9th, 2012 was the last time I ran and would be the the last time for months to come. Oh, how July was the month of setbacks, major obstacles, and disappointment.
First, we lost power for over a week after a rogue storm came through here and dropped a tree in our front yard on the power lines. We spent that week trying to keep our disabled son in air-conditioned hotels while scrounging around for a generator. I still managed to find time to run twice during the whole ordeal. However, not long after getting power back, I found myself in a much greater predicament that would change my little world for months to come.
One evening, as I was getting ready for a treadmill run I experienced the onset of extreme abdominal pain. My husband ended up leaving work and taking me to the emergency room. They ran a few tests and sent me home with a diagnosis of constipation. I remained in fairly severe pain for another week before I went to a clinic. They sent me back to the emergency room where a CT with dye showed I had free air and fluid in my abdomen. I was rushed into surgery for an emergency exploratory laparotomy.
I woke up in the ICU with an incision that ran the length of my belly with 21 staples. All I could think about was running and weight lifting and how I felt so robbed of all my hard work. I tried hard to not let on to anyone how sad I was about the whole ordeal with regards to my fitness. It seemed so shallow and ungrateful. I spent over a week in the hospital. No definitive diagnosis was made as to why I had free air in my belly, so I will have to have further tests done once I’ve completely recovered from surgery. It’s all very frustrating right now.
When I finally got home, the real challenge began.
It’s been 2 weeks since the surgery. I had my staples removed yesterday which did provide some relief. I’ve been told I can’t run for about 3 months, but I was cleared for brisk walking. I’m still so very sore and have a lot of edema in my torso which is very slowly dissipating. I can’t lift anything right now and am told I can’t lift over 40 lb for 4 months. This means I can’t lift my disabled son which creates an immensely complicated situation. It just feels like everything is turned upside down. I’ve been bored, depressed, and confused as to what to do with myself. I’m incredibly impatient for the soreness to go away. I just want my life back so badly. Though I know everything will come with time and a few months pass in the blink of an eye, I just feel disheartened and long to hear the sound of rocks crunching under my feet.
I have to get my head right.
So, here I sit, somewhat demoralized, but more and more determined to formulate a comeback plan. I’ve decided to start a walking streak of a minimum half-mile a day until I feel comfortable upping the ante to 1 mile a day. I’ll do a “test drive” this weekend and see how it goes. I know it’s going to be a long, slow recovery, but damnit I’m not letting this get the better of me! I’m going to push through this, and I’ll be back on the trails by the time the weather is cooling off again this fall! I’m coming back, and maybe I’ll be tougher than ever!
Get outside and put some miles in for me!